I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
