okay pat passed out under dana's car
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
