Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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