This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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