I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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