Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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