i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
