fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
God, I missed his penis.
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