I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Im part way to drunk.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
