My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
