Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
