oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
