Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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