I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
