I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
