It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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