i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
