I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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