my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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