'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
