Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
