Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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