im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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