Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
