Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
