using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
