I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
