Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
