Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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