I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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