i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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