problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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