mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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