Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
