We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
