it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
