I got chris browned last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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