I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can text with my tongue
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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