she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
