I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
