I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
