Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
