handjob tips. give me some.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
