you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
