hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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