I hate all girls vehemently.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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