Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
that may or may not have been my penis.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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