Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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