my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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