The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
