You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
