Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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