What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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