Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
